don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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