we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize