Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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