Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i came on her dog
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
