You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
