Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
