I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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