a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
