you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We left the knife in your bed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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