i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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