Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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