I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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