His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
