So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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