so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
