hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
