these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
