holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
