God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
