She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
