i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
