i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
