If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This is my gift to your gina
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
