Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My vagina just recognized that song.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
