I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
