so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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