That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
