Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
