i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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