We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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