You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize