I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
