the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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