i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
