And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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