I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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