butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
