remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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