Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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