thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I stole a fireplace last night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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