Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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