he thought i was a dude.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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