ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
soo... how was my night?
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