why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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