third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
