wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
