i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
