So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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