Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
