She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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