Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
