Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
