I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
