I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this boner is exhausting
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
