I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
