I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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