how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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