There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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