the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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